Your unworthy Prophet has evidence from an unimpeachable source that the Iraqi pignapping story is a hoax! Early this week I received the following encrypted email:

It's all a lie about the Blessed Swine. Please tell the world. My conscience can't take the strain any more.

The email instructed me to report to a certain Washington parking garage, where I met my contact -- a person whom any of you would recognize instantly, but who wishes to be identified only as Deep Stoat. My contact provided me with the memo on the left (click on the thumbnail for a full-size version), and gave every assurance that it was genuine.

I provided the memo to several well-placed members of the national media. Under intense questioning, Ari Fleisher had this to say:

We are not going to change our story just because we were caught lying. We defy Saddam Hussein to prove that we're lying. And if he doesn't prove it by next Monday, we will conquer his country. So let it be written, so let it be done.

When confronted with the memo, Mr. Fleischer terminated the press conference and stormed out of the room.

In light of these shocking revelations, the Faithful can rest assured that the Blessed Swine is not in Iraq... but his whereabouts are still a mystery. Once again, I implore the Faithful to send any possible leads to templeofgwbush AT hotmail.com.

posted by grytpype at 11:12 PM