"God does not talk to the sane." Dear Leader and I are living proof of the untruth of that cliche.

Just as the Almighty was pleased to cause your unworthy Prophet to know of Dear Leader's anointment, He has blessed me with another revelation.

The Good News was made known to me as I was refinishing a coffee table in my poorly-ventilated Manhattan apartment. As I applied a heavy layer of varnish remover to the table's surface, I suddenly became lightheaded with religious ecstacy. Losing consciousness, I had a miraculous vision:

I saw a Beast
And the Beast had one head, and one horn, and one leg
And the face of an idiot
And the tail of the Serpent, most subtil.

A whore rode on the Beast's back
And whore was clad in newsprint.

The Beast trampled under its foot the crowns of all the nations
And the ballots of the people
And the tablets of the lawgivers
And the Beast brake them all.

The Beast commanded the Whore, saying,
Go, tell all the nations the bad news
That I, who was conceived in liberty
Have burst my swaddling clothes!
Tell them that because none have the power to oppose me
I will take their Everything
I will take the skies from over their heads
The light from their eyes
The breath from their nostrils
The blood from their veins
And the land from under their feet.

And the whore went forth and did the Beast's bidding
And the nations shuddered.

The head of the Beast grew up to the sky
And its tail embraced the Earth
And the Earth shuddered.

From the right side of the Beast came an angel bearing a trump
And the angel was like ashes
And the angel had 4 pairs of wings
With the red pair he covered his eyes
With the white pair his ears
With the blue pair his feet
With the black pair he flew over all the nations of the earth
And Universal Darkness buried All.

I awoke with a splitting headache, and with my forehead firmly adhered to my coffee table.

The meaning of my vision is clear. The Almighty is not content to place Dear Leader over America. No--God intends to make our Dear Leader the new Cyrus, the new Alexander, the new Caesar, the new Charlemagne, yet greater than all of them combined. All the Nations are to submit to Dear Leader's will.

Even now, hundreds of thousands of heavily armed Missionaries are preparing to flood across now-irrelevant borders to spread the Gospel to the Heathen masses. I implore the Faithful to keep their televisions on at all times, tuned to Fox News, and rejoice with great gladness that the new Order is at hand.


posted by grytpype at 3:57 PM