The Temple of George W. Bush |
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Wednesday, April 30, 2003
The Gospel of Dear Leader
This weblog is getting awfully long and it's confusing for newcomers, so your unworthy Prophet will now undertake to write of those matters which have been fulfiled among us.
In November to December A.D. 2000, it pleased Almighty God to perform a series of astonishing
In the weeks before the conquest of Iraq, the appearance of Dear Leader's Blessed Visage in a stain on the interior of my water closet caused a nationwide religious awakening, as the People realized Dear Leader actually was, as he says, appointed by the Almighty. The miracle was repeated across the country: on a sweat sock, on a pig's hindquarter, in frostblisters, on the Dale Earnhardt goat, and on a suspicious-looking mole, probably a melanoma of some sort. Since the first apparation was in my sanitary appliance, I took on the role of Dear Leader's Prophet.
Controversy swirled around the Blessed Swine as he was mobbed by the faithful, taken to a secure undisclosed location, went missing, was reported as pignapped by Iraq, but that hoax was uncovered, and his whereabouts are still unknown.
It then pleased God to reveal to your unworthy Prophet the world's destiny under Dear Leader. After being coronated, Dear Leader rapidly brought the world into his grasp (1 2), easily crushing the token opposition (1 2 3).
Also, a number of theological questions were answered (1 2 3 4 5 ). And there will be some changes in 2004, but please don't bother yourself with that.
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