Regime Change 2004? Not likely!

Your unworthy Prophet apologizes for the lack of updates over the past week. I was attending a retreat for the Faithful in Dear Leader's home state of Texas, within sight of his Blessed Ranch. Attendees meditated for days in the blazing sun atop an abandoned oil derrick, and doused themselves in spiritous liquors. Needless to say, we did not have Internet access. But it was a very relaxing and spiritually uplifting experience.

Recently a certain hell-spawned Heathen who wants to wear the Daddy Pants (I will not soil this sacred Blog by mentioning his name) has called for "regime change" in the Holy Land at the next scheduled Presidential election. I think it will surprise none of the Faithful to know that it is not the Almighty's plan that America should be led by a heroic, decorated war veteran. Already, Dear Leader's ministers are taking all possible steps to maintain his grip on power, as his nuncio Ari Fleischer declared at a press conference today:

With respect to 2004, we have determined that an election will be inadvisable at that time. The reason will be determined later, but it will probably have something to do with war and/or terrorism. If you journalists know what is good for you, you'll forget this "presidential election" nonsense being spewed by vile traitors who hate America. Concentrate on reporting Dear Leader's victories over the Heathen. Dear Leader will rule America for many decades to come, you can rest assured.

posted by grytpype at 8:16 PM