There has been much curiosity amongst the Faithful about the planned Shrine of the Blessed Commode, which will soon rise over the Texas plain.

To commemorate Dear Leader's victories over the Assyrians, Sumerians, Mesopotamians, and Babylonians, the Shrine will be constructed as a full-scale replica of the famed Ziggurat of Ur, known to the ancient Heathen as Etemennigur, meaning “a house whose foundation creates terror.”

The Blessed Commode itself shall be housed in the temple atop the ziggurat. When complete, Pilgrims will ascend the stairs in droves to venerate the sacred miracle where the image of Dear Leader first manifested itself.

As the site of the Shrine is far from any municipal sanitary system, the pipe descending from the Sacred Commode shall be disposed to commit refuse to one of the many dry wells sunk by Dear Leader during the days he was overtly in the oil business.

The interior of the ziggurat will be totally inaccessible from the outside. It will be the site of Dear Leader's Presidential Library and Museum.

But let me be clear: glorifying Dear Leader in a such a way will require significant funds. Despite my appeal of last week, the Temple has received very little in the way of cash donations from the Faithful, and the goods and merchandise donated thus far have been either perishable or far too soiled to fetch much of a price at sale. So again, I urge you to send as much cash, valuables, and salable items as you can to my attention at the Temple. Do so, and soon Dear Leader will have the everlasting tribute he deserves.

posted by grytpype at 12:25 PM