Dearest Bretheren, I come to you today with an urgent appeal. The Temple is in dire need of your financial help.

In addition to bearing the significant costs of sending me to distant parts of the Globe to spread the good news of Dear Leader, in recent months the Temple has entered into, shall we say, a fiscal purgatory due to forces largely beyond our control.

Our expenditures in establishing Bushtown were unexpectedly high, due in large part to an outbreak of virulent hemmoraegic cholera which pretty much wiped out the first wave of settlers and left behind a sanitary nightmare that is best left undescribed. The deceased Believers' non-refundable deposits fall far short of what is needed to restore Bushtown to a habitable condition.

The Temple has also made irrevocable commitments to certain well-connected Texas construction firms for the erection of the Shrine of the Sacred Commode. When completed (est. 2d Quarter 2005) the Shrine will house the Blessed Appliance for purposes of public veneration. The various costs already incurred, for finder's fees, consulting fees, incentives, and so on... well, let's just say Dear Leader has a lot of friends and they all need to be paid.

And although we have been exploring other revenue generating schemes, such as a chain of ToGWB-themed barbeque restaurants in the greater El Paso area, it will be months before they get off the ground much less start generating free cash flow for the Temple's immediate needs.

So, you can see what the problem is. Your Prophet needs your unrestrained financial support. Send as much money (and readily salable items) as you can as soon as you can to: The Temple of George W. Bush, New York, NY 10010. May Dear Leader smile upon your offspring.

posted by grytpype at 8:16 PM